Friday 31 January 2014

Family

It's the weekend and I'm excited! My God Daughter is coming to visit me from Liverpool. Little Tanaka is only three years old. A real cheeky monkey, who never fails to brighten my day - despite the fact that she is constantly telling me how "dopey" I am!

Tanka is a Shona name that in English means "Everything is Good" and when she visits, everything is good in my world!


Although I love all my nieces equally, Tanaka is the only one whom I have had the pleasure watching grow from a little baby. Her sisters, Lynn and Kirsty, are both beautiful and intelligent young women. They were each much older when they came into my life. Equally, my own two kids were 8 and 5 years respectively when I met their mother. So Tanaka is the only person in our family whom I have actually known for her entire life! It has been such a joy to watch her little personality grow and develop over the last few years. It has also been wonderful to see the joy and happiness she has brought to the lives of her two parents Andrew and Lisa. They are both amazing loving parents who have provided a great home for all three of their girls and are bringing up some fantastic human beings.

Family is such an important thing. It's the solid foundations upon which societies are built and it's what gives us strength as we voyage through life. I know I am blessed to have the family that I do. Equally, I know that not all families are nurturing and I feel sad for those who have not had the experience of a supportive loving family to guide their lives.

Families are made up of people and all people are flawed. So fundamentally at some level all families are flawed. What defines a great family is how the individuals within it overcome those flaws. How they support each other, how they love each other and how they set aside their individual egos for the greater good of the group. It's not always an easy journey to make, especially when you are dealing with generation and culture gaps. However, it's a journey worth making as it enriches your life in ways that you would have never anticipated. Families teach you a fundamental lesson about life - that the more you give the more you shall receive. Love begets love, and sacrifice is always worth it.

The pain a family feels when one of them passes from this earth is profound. Last year saw the death of my Uncle Brendan - my mother's elder brother. He was a man whom I had looked up to all my life, a leader not just within our family, but, within the wider world. His departure left a huge gap in our collective consciousness and the pain of his passing is still acutely felt by all. However, his continued presence is still real, as the ancestors never leave us. They live on within our memories and indeed within the very core of our being as their life and their spirit is forever bound to ours. We are who we are in part because of our relationship with them, because of the legacy they have left us. This interconnectedness binds our souls across eternity. When we acknowledge and connect with the reality of their continued presence in our lives their passing is easier to accept.

Death comes eventually for us all. I find that comforting. It reminds me of the utter insignificance of my ego within the context of the Universe. However, it also highlights the divinity of collective consciousness and the need to live in the moment. Families are an expression of collective human consciousness - they teach us many things, if we choose to let them.

One of the greatest joys that all families experience is the arrival of a new born baby. The entry of another soul into the collective consciousness of the family unit with all the potential that offers, to all members of the group. This was the joy that Tanaka brought to my life and the lives of those who love her. Later this year two new arrivals will bring similar joy as both my brother and my sister are due to have their first children. It is a wonderful occasion for our family and one which I know will bring us all closer together. These may turn out to be young or old souls - either way their experience in this life is set to be shaped by some truly wonderful people whom I know will make the most amazing parents. Their lives will also be shaped by the collective consciousness of a wider group - full of both fucked up craziness and massive amounts of love. In short - they are both in for one hell of a ride!

And so I await the arrival of my little niece and her entourage :) It's going to be a wondrous weekend with some amazing humans whom I am honoured and privileged to call - my family!

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